Fair advocacy for only one member in my relationship led to unfair treatment of me. That’s a fair and honest statement. People demanded proof, insisted on first-hand demonstrations that not only could I do the things I said I could, but that my struggle was exactly as I said it was. If it looked any different than the expectation, it raised questions. If there were fluctuations, it raised yet more questions...

There is a difference between the roles we are pushed into performing versus the roles we willingly step into. Capacity increases when there is autonomy.   Choice.   Boundaries.   Respect.   Responsibility.   Awareness of these things across all dynamics (not just those which serve a self-centric purpose or a point to be made for deflection’s sake) allows for a sense of purpose unhindered by external influence, but that’s in...

The internet has created a space where we can be ourselves and yet I’m overwhelmed by how many of us don’t yet seem able to do this. There are so many of us whose posts seem to question (sometimes sub-contextually) whether we have the right to exist. So many of us want permission and advice but in choosing an online space to gain it instead of giving ourselves permission, it throws...

Until recent years, my heart was mostly on my sleeve. When it breaks, it’s harder to keep it there. It’s difficult to stay open and vulnerable. When I think about the times I’ve tried to make myself less vulnerable right in the midst of it, I remember dismissing my tears, trying to cover up the depth of my emotions with an intentionally petty thing. For instance, while grieving, someone walks in...

(Song of the Oppressed: Girl-Witch, Interrupted-Hunted) If someone shouts at me right now I think I might— Kill ‘em!Cry and cower! Fight or Flight. I’m no killer, Wouldn’t really — I couldn’t if I tried. But anger overrode the senseswhen mocked because I cried,Because I dared to have emotion,Because I felt my pain and fought,Because I stood for who I am,Beneath the masks I have been taught. Oppress someone enough to...

An Open Acknowledgement of Things Falling Apart and Falling Together   My silence was mistaken for acceptance and blind obedience. In essence, I’m direct. I’m honest. I’m unafraid to stand up for someone in need—but I suppose by the time I had to defend myself, I was spent, and tangled—utterly undone—and utterly convinced I was worthless.   When I finally redefined my boundaries on my terms, it inevitably led to a...

Or… Things I’ve Learned the Hard Way   These are affirmations toward authenticity. I don’t know if there is an arrival point, only that I’m making progress, and I’m truer to myself. The struggle to stay true to myself is ongoing. Maybe there are those of us who find this easy; for those who don’t, maybe there’s something here that will resonate.   1. My standards are as valid as those...

It strikes me that some of what is radicalism is actually a counter to initial radical reform. It’s reoccurring as conservatives fear how liberal the world is becoming. People seem to fear chaos because chaos strips control. Liberalism seems to be equated with chaos. So is art. Art is self expression. Liberalism offers freedom to express. People are favouring labels outside of traditionally available boxes. Some refuse to be labelled at...

Far smarter people than I have probably explored this topic far more eloquently and in broader ways than I ever could, so I shouldn’t really belabour myself with the task of defending creativity, and yet, I’ll say this: creativity shouldn’t be squashed for the sake of sanity because it lends itself to sanity.   Fear might deter some. That fear has deterred people in my life, and those people went on...