Or… Things I’ve Learned the Hard Way   These are affirmations toward authenticity. I don’t know if there is an arrival point, only that I’m making progress, and I’m truer to myself. The struggle to stay true to myself is ongoing. Maybe there are those of us who find this easy; for those who don’t, maybe there’s something here that will resonate.   1. My standards are as valid as those of others.   2. Feeling the intensity of chronic pain in its entirety; associating even the smallest of individually positive moments of life with something safe that allows a

An essay on perception, pressure, and personality   Updated March 2026   “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Anaïs Nin   Part I   ‘It’s like I don’t even know you,’ someone said. ‘You’re behaving like someone else,’ said someone else. These are also things I’ve said. It’s odd how, over time, it seemed like something threatening to become a universal truth: that we should remain unchanged, and change poses trouble. It conflicted with my held beliefs. What I’ve found to be truer is that it’s only one small facet within a spectrum

An Open Acknowledgement of Things Falling Apart and Falling Together   My silence was mistaken for acceptance and blind obedience. In essence, I’m direct. I’m honest. I’m unafraid to stand up for someone in need—but I suppose by the time I had to defend myself, I was spent, and tangled—utterly undone—and utterly convinced I was worthless.   When I finally redefined my boundaries on my terms, it inevitably led to a freedom of sorts, and with it an eventual resilience, but before that terribly unglamorous transition back into womanhood, my efforts were met with outrage from those no longer holding

As a person, you are judged. Regardless of where you take or make your stand on any spectrum, if you’re alive, you will be judged, try as you might to avoid it. You’re judged when you’re too straightforward and judged when you’re too vague. You’re judged if you stand up for yourself but you’re also judged if you simply let someone take advantage of you. You’re judged for taking yourself too seriously and judged for not taking yourself seriously enough. You’re judged if you’re too fat or too thin, too well-groomed or too unkempt. You’re judged for what you appear to be.